How to Stop Worrying About What People Think of You

Step 1

Realize that nobody is perfect. If you're sitting there on pins and needles trying to make sure that everyone approves of you, you have to ask yourself what kind of standard you are supposed to be living up to. Is it absolute perfection, or flawlessness? If so, you and everyone else on the planet are already in trouble. Nobody is perfect. The people that you are concerned about impressing, are they flawless? Do they have their lives all together? I'm 99.9999% positive that they don't have it all together, even if they appear to be that way. They may not have the same shortcomings or problems that you have, but rest assured they do have shortcomings. So keep that in mind, and realize that the very people you're trying to be perfect in front of have imperfections themselves.

Step 2

Recognize that what others think of you is really none of your business. I know that may sound funny at first, but it's very true. They're going to think what they're going to think, even if they may present themselves a different way externally. So even if you think that you can gauge what's going on in their heads, realize that at the end of they day, it's still really anybody's guess. It's THEIR business what they're thinking, not yours. So any time you're tempted to think "I wonder what they're thinking about me?", follow that thought up immediately with this one-"Ahhh, it doesn't matter...that's none of my business anyway."

Step 3

Realize that whatever they're thinking about you is totally out of your control. The truth of the matter is that you CAN NOT control anyone's opinion, even if you try to manipulate your own actions or behavior to hopefully elicit a certain response from them. If you change the things that you really want to say to something you think they would like for you to say, or if you laugh at jokes that you really don't think are funny, or if you suppress or alter your behavior to fit what you believe they will accept, these are all signs that you're trying to control their reactions toward you and their thoughts about you. Again, all of this is futile. They're going to think however they're going to think, and that is totally out of your control.

Step 4

Finally, understand that much of your concern about what others think of you is really rooted in the way you think about yourself. Many times we are our own worst enemies, and we judge and condemn ourselves before anyone else even gets the chance to do it. So if there's an area of your life where you feel insecure or lack a good sense of self-worth, you will automatically assume that others perceive those same flaws in you, so it magnifies the feeling of suspicion you have that they're thinking negative things about you. Basically, you have already "put yourself on trial" and convicted yourself before anyone else even gets a chance to do it. Go easy on yourself...refer back to Step 1: Nobody is perfect. Life it's ugly head". You'll do okay, though, if you just see it for what it is and not accept it at face value.

How to Deal With Being Mistreated by Boys

1. Remember that it's not about you. Most of the time, people mistreat others because of their own insecurities. Just understand that how others treat and perceive you does not define you as a person.

2. Step 2

   Talk to this boy individually about why he is mistreating you. It may be that he is just trying to act tough in front of his friends, and when you are alone, he may be honest with you. Don't do this if you have any fear for your physical well-being around this person.

3. Step 3

   Speak to your friends about this person and the situation. It may be that this boy treats everyone like this and it is a personality problem. In addition, friends can give you perspective about the situation and make you feel better about yourself.

4. Step 4

   Avoid this boy if at all possible. Sometimes there are people you just cannot get along with, and therefore avoiding them is the best course of action.

5. Step 5

   Contact someone of authority and tell about this boy's behavior. There may not be a way to avoid the boy in a public setting such as school or work. Be aware that this action can make the situation worse and not better if the boy reacts negatively to the authority figure.

6. Step 6

   Get a restraining order against this boy. Obviously, this is a last-ditch attempt, but if you ever fear for your safety around this boy, and he will not leave you alone, a restraining order filed with the police may be the only option.

Destinasi Kehidupan

Kehidupan dunia adalah sementara. Akhirat juga yang kekal selamanya. Itulah destinasi kehidupan kita yang sebenar, yang sepatutnya kita kejarkan, yang sepatutnya kita impikan. Namun, badai godaan dunia terus menghentam, menerjang kapal keimanan kita. Tahankah kita diuji? Mampukah kita terus berdiri teguh memegang paksi keimanan kepadaNya dengan sabar, syukur dan redha terhadap setiap ketentuanNya?



Ya Allah Ya tuhanku, hanya padaMu tempat kumengadu. Diri yang lemah ini, yang serba kekurangan ini, sentiasa mengharapkan petunjuk dariMu, agar segala tingkahlaku, percakapan dan kata hatiku semoga sentiasa dalam naungan petunjukMu.

Mangkuk yang cantik, madu dan sehelai rambut.

Rasulullah s.a.w, dengan sahabat-sahabatnya Abu Bakar r.a, Umar r.a, Utsman r.a, dan 'Ali r.a, bertamu ke rumah Ali r.a. Di rumah Ali r.a isterinya Sayidatina Fathimah r.a puteri Rasulullah s.a.w menghidangkan untuk mereka madu yang diletakkan di dalam sebuah mangkuk yang cantik, dan ketika semangkuk madu itu dihidangkan sehelai rambut terikut di dalam mangkuk itu.
Rasulullah s.a.w kemudian meminta kesemua sahabatnya untuk membuat suatu perbandingan terhadap ketiga benda tersebut (Mangkuk yang cantik, madu, dan sehelai rambut).

Abu Bakar r.a berkata, "Iman itu lebih cantik dari mangkuk yang cantik ini, orang yang beriman itu lebih manis dari madu, dan mempertahankan iman itu lebih susah dari meniti sehelai rambut".

Umar r.a berkata, "Kerajaan itu lebih cantik dari mangkuk yang cantik ini, seorang raja itu lebih manis dari madu, dan memerintah dengan adil itu lebih sulit dari meniti sehelai rambut".

Uthman r.a berkata, "Ilmu itu lebih cantik dari mangkuk yang cantik ini, orang yang menuntut ilmu itu lebih manis dari madu, dan beramal dengan ilmu yang dimiliki itu lebih sulit dari meniti sehelai rambut".

Ali r.a berkata, "Tamu itu lebih cantik dari mangkuk yang cantik ini, menjamu tamu itu lebih manis dari madu, dan membuat tamu senang sampai kembali pulang ke rumaHnya adalah lebih sulit dari meniti sehelai rambut".

Fatimah r.a berkata, "Seorang wanita itu lebih cantik dari sebuah mangkuk yang cantik, wanita yang berpurdah itu lebih manis dari madu, dan mendapatkan seorang wanita yang tak pernah dilihat orang lain kecuali muhrimnya lebih sulit dari meniti sehelai rambut".

Rasulullah s.a.w berkata, "seorang yang mendapat taufiq untuk beramal adalah lebih cantik dari mangkuk yang cantik ini, beramal dengan amal yang baik itu lebih manis dari madu, dan berbuat amal dengan ikhlas adalah lebih sulit dari meniti sehelai rambut".

Malaikat Jibril a.s berkata, "Menegakkan pilar-pilar agama itu lebih cantik dari sebuah mangkuk yang cantik, menyerahkan diri, harta dan waktu untuk usaha agama lebih manis dari madu, dan mempertahankan usaha agama sampai akhir hayat lebih sulit dari meniti sehelai rambut".

Allah s.w.t berfirman, "SyurgaKu itu lebih cantik dari mangkuk yang cantik itu, nikmat syurgaKu itu lebih manis dari madu, dan jalan menuju syurgaKu adalah lebih sulit dari meniti sehelai rambut".